Hello, my people,

Happy International Women’s Day to all the women in my tribe. Here’s to celebrating us for the amazing women that we all are and for all the hats we wear and the jobs we do (paid and unpaid).  I wear many hats as well …so here are a few unknown facts about me.

I am a proud multi-hyphenate, A dentist- hospital administrator- writer-saying- it with flowers enthusiast- investor- founder of The Conscious Code- and a certified conscious parenting coach practitioner- mom of two. While I have qualifications and certifications for all, I didn’t have one that qualifies me to parent! IKR- THE MOST important job of all and we don’t need any qualifications!

But then as we know life, and specifically if we decided to have children- the learning is fast-tracked to us. It is in one of these learning moments 4 years ago that I found myself at rock bottom- my son was acting out in school, and I was looking like a really bad mom! Why is this ONLY happening to me? Yes… I’m admitting it here… It was ALL about me… Who cares if he was having a hard time? I just didn’t know it then, as I kept internalizing “He is GIVING me a hard time”! How many of you women have personalized such interactions? I can hear “me too!” So, through the 100’s of clients I’ve had the honor to walk this journey with, I can safely say- We are NOT alone!

I was so fed up with finding myself in a hamster loop living Einstein’s definition of insanity- doing the same things repeatedly but expecting a completely different result… I just knew I had to find a better way… There had to be a better way!

As I learned to move the focus away from the kids/others and spotlight my own unhealed self… I could now show up with compassion, non-judgment, and validation. Deeply connecting with myself first and in turn, connecting with my kids and other relationships like never before.
It has been a long journey of moment-by-moment commitment- but it started with a single mantra- “I believe in you.”

I BELIEVE IN ANGELS

A human angel encouraged me, and I was able to pick myself up and just show up to do the work. This mantra has translated to now me being my own favorite cheerleader – “I believe in me!”

It has been found that humans thrive when we are in the energy of encouragement with love and care and non-judgment –we can pick ourselves up and restart holding onto the “C” word that we were all born with – Confidence.

When we share and transfer this energy by high fives, fist bumps, hugs- and say to our kids, partners, friends, and other relationships- it is us saying… “I believe in you … And I believe in you” … Which will eventually become the voice in their head – “I believe in me”. We, women, especially get so bogged down with all our roles and put ourselves last …but it’s our day…and month …

So, let’s spread some magic… can you give high fives, fist bumps, and hugs, messages of encouragement to all your relationships– saying “I believe in you” and you’ll see…you will get it back many times fold.

My express thanks to each one of you for taking the time to subscribe, read and share this within your community. I intend to keep this as a 2-way communication, so stay in touch (There are many ways at: www.dr.tanushkamelwani.com)

Stay well. Stay Happy. I believe in you.

THE CONSCIOUS PAUSE:

To resist PROJECTING on our children and others, we must train ourselves to OBSERVE and witness before outward ACTION.  Every time you find yourself being triggered or in conflict, can you deep breathe, take a step back before reacting to them and begin to reflect and ask yourself- “Where is this reaction coming from?” Is this reaction from the present moment or from the projections and patterns from my past/future?

While this may seem mundane- Trust me- it is powerful and profound. It allows us to take that all-important step backward and inwards and examine ourselves and (really)see how we have set up our agendas and movies- setting the other up for failure!

When we detach from our own movies, we also allow our children and other relationships to be, Free to be.

PROJECTION TO PAUSE:

Let’s talk about one of the BIGGEST obstacles to CONNECTION. It is one of the most instinctive, automatic, and reflexive emotional habits that humans, especially parents, engage in.

Through projection, we create movies and stories in our heads and ways of being, all of which may not be true. When we project our own ways onto our children, we forget to see them for who it is that they truly are.

Here is something to think about, journal about and act on- you will see a transformation in all your relationships. (Remember that our closest relationships are our mirrors)

First, reflect on the ways you “design” your children’s/closest relationships’ life.

Then reflect on the way you “project” your emotions onto them.

You are invited to now go even deeper, Remember the last time you projected your emotions onto your child/other. Choose and reflect on one specific occasion.

Going deeper, I challenge you to release one of your projections. Perhaps choose the heaviest one. Can you commit to seeing the “is-ness” of the situation rather than the fantasy movie in your head?

Take the all-important CONSCIOUS PAUSE and choose to CONNECT.

Are you ready?

A foundational need for everyone to feel secure comes from feeling safe, seen, and soothed. Secure attachment in childhood defines and underlies all your adult relationships. Yes, it does!

The question is -are all relationships in your life feeling a level of safety being around you? Are you feeling safe around them?
Receiving and giving mixed signals and walking around on eggshells spells NOT SAFE!
SAFE is a no-judgment zone and your authenticity will keep others from being fake.

What does it mean to be SEEN? Not only seeing each other with our eyes but do we really ‘get’ them and stay in their corner? When we can truly see others (and ourselves) for who it is they/we are, we allow them (and ourselves) to know self-love!

And then, SOOTHED– of course hugs, love, and physical touch is important, but did you know that LISTENING is the new LOVING? When we can listen without judgment, and criticism and not need to jump in with do’s and don’t’s- all our relationships will luxuriate in our love.

In this month of love and beyond let’s surround ourselves with people who make us feel loved, worthy, and like we matter. Can we too swaddle them in the proverbial security blanket of safety, being seen and soothed??

Take the conscious parenting quiz and find out!

Thank you for the immense support, pride, and lovely messages I continue to receive through Free to Be. This work is making massive shifts in my life and relationships and in turn for all my clients.

With so much gratitude for allowing me to stay grounded as I move forwards on the conscious parenting path toward growing myself up.

I’m here for you if you are ready for this life-changing and paradigm-shifting conversation.

Get in touch here

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